Mid-life crisis? - part three.

Hello to all blog followers... and especially those new to my blog. A big hello to all in the North! {the Yukon/Whitehorse and North West Territories/Yellowknife}.

If after the initial decision to look for help for addiction you feel unsatisfied with all that you see in the addiction field, then perhaps you are able to know that you need to face the deeper issues {shame, abuse memories, loneliness, depression and anxiety etc} that underpin and exacerbate your addiction {i.e. drink, drugs, sex, gambling, food, codependency etc}. You know that at some level you want to get to the very depths of the issues in order to be free from compulsions and get on with a more meaningful life/career etc.

Sadly, the addiction world has focused chiefly on self-help models that are then bolted onto counseling. So, of you really are lost to yourself in a mid-life crisis there doesn't seem to be much truly effective help out there. I propose that you consider the following:

• Psychotherapy;
• and/or;
  
• Spiritual guidance.
  

Infuriatingly unless you live in a city that has a good training institute/university then the options are limited. But, I really do believe that the effort is worth the search! After 20 years as a director of addiction clinics/rehabs I am convinced that Psychotherapy and Spiritual guidance are crucial to helping break the addiction cycle and lead people to new and productive lives. Put yourself in the hands on an expert in these fields and reap the rewards!
Suggested reading: Creating a life by James Hollis
Peace,
Brian
e. info@innercare.org
w. www.innercare.org
p. 1-604-746-1164
Based in the Fraser Valley near Vancouver, serving Canada and the rest of the world!

Mid-life crisis? - part two.

After years of drinking or drugging the cost can be a person lost to himself or herself! The 'who' of the person has been lost or covered over by painful experiences, losses and traumas and so on. There is much confusions and no future path seems to present itself, or at least one that has any real meaning. The task of therapy is to aid the client to face the unresolved existential questions that have been avoided, and now have accumulated to the point that there is a real crisis.
As with any crisis there is new opportunity! This is a chance for a radically honest look at oneself and the opportunity to let got of addictions and the underlying causes... a chance to go into a new phase of life with new tools that will continue to support personal-development. The emotionally and spiritually unintelligent person will stumble about in the mid-life period, and continue to do so until there is help from the outside... this can be that a friend a therapist a pastor etc.
Psychotherapy offers a ‘sacred space’ where the client can unburden their soul, and sift thru a ravaged inner being with the expertise of a highly aware and emotionally attuned professional.
Some basic questions:

• Are you lost?
• Do you feel chronically empty inside?
• Do you wonder what real meaning there is in life, and long for a more fulfilled existence?

Seek out an experienced and formally trained Psychotherapist who can work with addiction issues.
If you want any further advice then blog, call or email me:
e. info@innercare.org
w. www.innercare.org
p. 1-604-746-1164
Peace,
Brian
Based in the Fraser Valley, B.C. serving Canada and the rest of the world!

Mid-life crisis? - part one.

If you are struggling with life and facing ADDICTIONS, burnout, depression, and chronic anxiety… and so on then you may be in a MID-LIFE CRISIS.
Most of my clients who come on our retreats are professionals who are in a classic mid-life crisis… consequently they are probably struggling to resolve a basic existential question: WHO AM I? The unfolding journey they take leads them thru dark and previously unknown recesses of their psyche / unconscious.

Much of this initial work involves exploring the body’s sense of knowing, as the body acts as a container for our life story. It captures memories and experiences that then have a lasting effect on the person, until they are given the spiritual and therapeutic care needed…This is truly soul care!

It's my opinion that dragging thru lots of old business is not the only valid approach, and can only lead to a more polished version of the person’s life story. I believe that there has to be a radical move beyond the person’s STORY, into a more spiritual vantage point. The ensuing wisdom and peace resolves most of the issues that many would invest a great deal of time trying to resolve, in standard therapy.

In my 20 years experience as a director of many clinics/rehabs there seems to be a crying need for others to offer intensive approaches and similar alternatives. HOWEVER, I would caution other therapists, by saying that it has taken all my experience and training to get to the point of being able to offer intensive retreats… so the real question is: are therapy professionals willing to invest at least a decade’s serious spiritual training before attempting to blend this with therapies?
Please call, blog or email me if you want to chat about any of the above, or similar topics.
Peace,
Brian
e. info@innercare.org
t. 1-604-826-1164
w. www.innercare.org
Based in the Fraser Valley, close to Vancouver... serving the world!

RECOVERY TOOLS - Part 4.

This is the fourth and final blog on RECOVERY TOOLS. Please let me know if you want me to go into more depth and I'll post another series of blogs.
I've mentioned in the other blogs about the need to explore your inner-self thru various forms of meditation... if the scriptures are important to you, then you can either:

• read them in an ancient meditative way {i.e. Lectio Divina};
  
• use the scriptures to work a 12 Step program. There are a number of 12 step bibles or there are free online guides.
• or, combine both... and even prep. for this with Mindfulness Meditation.
  

If you want a neutral approach... for whatever reasons... then please consider trying Mindfulness ... Here is a quick guide to Mindfulness Meditation:
1. Sit in a comfortable position... upright but relaxed.
2. Gently close your eyes.
3. Become ever more aware of the breath.
4. Allow you breathing to change from chest/lung breathing to belly breathing... allowing the stomach to fill up with air on the in-breath.
5. So letting go of all else [sounds, smells, memories etc] focus only on the breath... tracking it in thru the nostrils... circulation in the belly and being release thru the mouth.
6. Long slow deep breathing.
7. Ever more slowly; ever more deeply!
8. Keep this up for up to 20 min.
9. Take time to come into a normal state of awareness.

Let me know how you are doing... blog, email or call!

Peace,
Brian
p. 1-604-746-1164
e. info@innercare.org
w. www.innercare.org
Based in the Fraser Valley... serving the world!

RECOVERY TOOLS - Part 3.

In this third blog on tools I'll focus briefly on the key benefits of Meditation for those who are recovering from: drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, co-dependency etc.This tool is not to be taken lightly! It is an ancient method that can be adapted to almost any belief system, and exists in some form or other in most religions.
I recommend that beginners start with a form called mindfulness meditation. Some of the main benefits are:

* The breath grounds in the NOW! Reducing stress and anxiety levels.
* Acceptance teaches us to experience without judgment.
* We can connect with feelings without being overwhelmed.
* Observing the ebb and flow of our thinking patterns, we learn how our mind works.



I strongly advise you to take time to try out meditation for at least a month before forming any opinion.
Please blog or email me if you want any further advice.

Peace,
Brian
1-604-746-1164
Innercare Services International Inc.
info@innercare.org
Based in Canada, serving the the world!

RECOVERY TOOLS - part 2.

In a former role as a specialist interviewing clients who’d left rehab and failed, I’d always ask them the last time they had used any recovery tools… the answer was always “weeks ago… or months ago”. This is an act of self-neglect! It’s inevitable that the ‘inner saboteur’ will run riot if there is no ongoing self-check.  

By contrast those who did well in recovery as seem to make wholehearted use of recovery tools! They appeared focused, happy and determined to face any obstacles to long-term abstinence. Some of the success cases used the 12 step meetings and some did not. From my perspective it comes down to how much work and self-care each person is prepared to put in!

Today id’ like to take a brief look at another basic tool: JOURNALING.
It has two approaches:

1. Unstructured… free writing to let go and loosen up the rigid and controlling ego. This involves writing without any censoring or judgment or pre-conceived themes. It is an excellent clearing away process and is a good preparation of other self-therapy.

2. Structured writing. There are lots of templates or headings for this and there are some software programs. The content is for you to do! The framework is perhaps:
• Cognitive therapy themes;
• 12 step themes;
• Scripture themes etc.

All of this helps to dismantle the limited perspective and control of the ego. In all major religions the purification of the ego is central to spiritual growth. It is our responsibility to find ways to do this by self-reflection. And, we can take our writing to our sponsor, therapist or group therapy etc. At the end of each year we can take time to acknowledge the personal and recovery growth thru this narrative process.

Call {1-604-746-1164} or blog me if you want any further tips on recovery tool and the process.

Peace,

Brian

info@innercare.org

Based in the Fraser Valley serving British Columbia/Alberta... and the rest of the world!

RECOVERY TOOLS - part 1.

For the next 4 blogs I’ll be discussing recovery tools.

When we are thinking about addiction we have to talk about RECOVERY TOOLS. For the next few bogs I’ll focus on some of the best tools I’ve come across in my 20 years working as a director of clinics/rehabs.
Those in early recovery need tools! That being said, what tools am I talking about? Two key basic tools are:
1. JOURNALING;
2. MEDITATION.

Firstly, lets talk about MEDITATION, that age old approach that’s recently been revitalized and found it’s way into books on addiction. It’s become quite popular, but needs to be done seriously! Both of these tools need to be used at least once a day… preferably several times daily… food for the psyche – soul. That may seem like an awful lot of time but if you are looking for a quality of recovery or sustained recovery then you simply can’t just skip over useful tools and hope to get recovery by osmosis! … Trying to absorb it from those around you: in the rooms, therapy groups etc. In the beginning its hard work, but will pay off tenfold If you spend 10-20 min. a couple of times a day, it will obviously bring greater awareness; grounding … remaining in the present moment… reducing anxiety!

Many recovering people slip into depression and anxious states; here meditation is proven to help… research shows this to be so! Proper forms of meditation will pay off. You can also choose to join a meditation group. Makes sure the instructor has at least a decade of serious experience… then you will learn a lot from that. I can highly endorse meditation having seen the growth other recovering persons have made thru commitment to meditation classes.

Here’s a tip: find your own space in your house so that it become obvious that meditation is part of your lifestyle… thereby reinforcing the importance of ongoing meditation periods. It needs to be built into each day to keep any spiritual awakening alive.  The key is: Awareness, awareness, awaress! Meditation will lead to ever-greater self-awareness = quality recovery!!

Reading sugestion: Full catastrophe living.

In my next blog I will give a few pointers on JOURNALING. Please blog, call or email me if you want any advice.

Peace,

Brian

Based in British Columbia... serving Canada and the world!

RECOVERY - WHAT'S THE POINT?

Qu: So what’s the point of recovery?

Staying alive! Addiction is a slow form of suicide… not intended but very effective! Recovery involves being alive inside rather than compulsively numbing out! After the initial ‘thawing’ and working thru the early moods, new positive emotions emerge!
Relating to others: Opening up to the world around… rather than being closed off and avoidant. 'Walls' have been built up over the years to keep others away… that also keep those who may help you away too. This is a chance to take a risk and let the good stuff in!
Finding inner resources that have been buried beneath a pile of unfinished business!
Grieving all the losses and moving on in life… all losses can be worked thru in a recovery program… or even better – psychotherapy!
Realizing the dreams that have been long forgotten… all that creativity and giftedness. If you are recovering in a mid-life stage then it’s a perfect time to completely review all that has gone before and look ahead. Click here for Audio book suggestion
I’ve seen many; many recovering persons quickly emerge from the dark world of drugs and alcohol and go onto completely new lives. I’d include some ‘lucky’ extremely psychologically damaged persons in this too… often people who were written off by the psychiatric community! How is this possible? The only explanation I can give is that this is the work of higher being! All the more reason to check out some spiritual tools.

Peace,

Brian

Blog me or call and chat!

1-604-746-1164

www.innercare.org

From the Fraser Valley [near Vancouver]... serving the world!